Time to Breathe.

My new job has been a God send. It wasn’t until this week when I finally was able to start the second portion of my full time job that I realized how wonderful it really is. The people, the work I get to do: It’s all been a blessing. Finally,  I have been given the time to do something I felt I couldn’t do for the last few years: Breathe.

Today I was watching the new SNL season on hulu. Without warning, a car accident happened in the skit. I was sent into the spin of panic, the familiar rush of adrenaline, and yes, that sound coming from my throat that gave noise, but no words. And yet, after a few moments, it was over. This may seem like a huge improvement, and I have to say: it is

It has been over 6 months now and here I am recovering a little at a time. Something happens that triggers the replay button in mind and yet, my brain can think, process, and heal.  It’s incredible and I believe largely due to the fact that my mind is now cleared of the insanity that was my previous work space and stress. Don’t get me wrong, I am still busy, but I find that I no longer am as angry, frustrated, exhausted, or hectic as I was. Without all of that stress, I can breathe and so can my heart, soul, and mind.

The most amazing thing is realizing that every day that I get up and go to work, it now has more meaning than ever. I feel respected, trusted, and treated with kindness. I feel I am doing work that I know how to do, and for the first time in my life, I am not dreading going every morning. Better yet, I have come home feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

These last six months have been difficult, but tonight I am celebrating a little victory. Here’s to my new life, my new job, and my new found time to breathe!

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