Well, today is the day! Two years ago I survived my car crash with a semi. I should have died that night. I thought I was going to die and then, didn’t.
I knew today would be filled with recovery, anxiety, and a little bit of pain. What I didn’t expect was the anger and resentment.
Someone that I care about a lot referred to my crash as “That accident years ago…”
It has only been two. This phrase makes it seem like it’s a story in a book, sitting on a shelf collecting dust. This year is the first time I can even say years as a plural word.
I instantly felt a pang of anger and also realized how little this person understood what life has been like since then.
Every month, I think of the day when it is the 25th. Every week, I think of it when it is Wednesday. Every time there’s a movie or show with a car crash, I re-live it. Every car ride, I grip the wheel and pray it doesn’t happen again. Every time I hear glass break, or a bag of chips crunch, I am there: sitting in the car, swerving all over, and screaming.
This may may have been two years ago, but sometimes in my mind it was last month, last week, yesterday!
I guess this is just a reminder that there really are a lot of people that just don’t get it.
People with PTSD relive their pain and horror over and over again. They don’t always feel like it was that long ago. They may still live it every day.
So, if you know someone who has it, be patient with us, be forgiving, mark down the Anniversary on your calendar and don’t take it lightly. For some of us, today just marks another day that we survived.